Baltoman

I secomd Fiji's comments. I didn't reply as I'd been thinking about your sitch.

What you think you are saying to your wife is I want to give you pleasure and want to make love to you. It sounds to me like she could be hearing you are no longer any good in bed. Nothing seems to turn you on the way it used to and now since the hysterectomy you are no longer a real woman as you can't orgasm.

This is how I would feel. Like I wasn't able to please you so why even try.

Its a catch 22 here you want her to be able for her to let go but how you go about it is the key. By saying you want the old wife back you've reinforced that she's rubbish in bed.

Think about it if you were having ED problems and she said I wish you were harder as its not the same now you can't get it up properly any more it would turn you off actually it would destroy you.

As regards the breast tenderness it is probably hormonal and she should be checked out. Dryness can be overcome with Replense and lubricants.
She probably needs tons ofreassurance that you love her for who she is not just in a sexual way. She could be frightened that if she's not good enough in bed you'll leave her for someone younger.

Its good you're talking about problems but putting on all this pressure just makes it less likely she'll orgasm.

shmagic