Letting Go of My WAW

[SuperDad]

Journaling:
Today was rather even keeled. It was my double work out day with weights and spinning in the morning and swimming and running in the pm, so I was not home much other than to pick up the kids for karate and my pm workout. W did offer to heat up left over eggplant parmasian for me since she wasn't having dinner. I called her on the way home from my workout and she even spent some time to put it in a personal dish with extra marinara and cheese and bake it so that it was ready right when I got home.

Synical me wonders if she is doing this to show that she is a full time SAHM and deserves alimony! I hate to think this way, but damn, she is back to staying around the house, drinking wine all afternoon, and not making any plans to change her sitch (training?, new career?, ANYTHING!)

This leads me to my real concern: DEPRESSION. I went over this with my C, who obviously can't give me a diagnosis. Nevertheless, she has FOR YEARS shown 9 of the 12 symptoms listed in DR. In addition, I think that the break up of her 2 siblings marriages due to infidelity of their S's WITH EACH OTHER, was probably the trigger event for both her MLC and for her further deepening depression. She admits the MLC, but won't see a IC and is trying to convince herself (and me) that nothing is wrong with her.

I am considering confiding in her sister, who is her most trusted advisor in her family (still not that close). W was going to move in with the kids with SIL before she decided not to take the job in Austin and I stayed with her when I was there 2 weeks ago on a job interview. SO, here is my proposed strategy:

I call SIL:
Me: SIL, thanks so much for offering to let W and the kids stay with you. I know that W decided not to take the job and to stay in FL, but I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you were willing to support our family in this way.

(Let SIL respond)

Me: SIL, there is something else on my mind that I would like to discuss with you. I am concerned that W's unhappiness may be related to depression. I talked to her about going to IC and she refused. I am not exactly sure why, but I think that she does not see her unhappiness as something that a IC can help with. I would like to ask you to pay attention to her when she visits you next month. If you think that this could be the case, maybe you could talk to her about seeking out an IC?

(LET SIL respond)

Me: SIL, there is one more thing, I know that W will reject any advice from you if she thinks that I am coaching you. You certainly can tell her if you choose, but please know that I am contacting you because I am worried about W. I need her to be happy to be the mom that my kids need. That is my only motivation in talking to you about this, not to do anything about our R.

(let SIL respond)

Me: SIL, thank you so much for listening to me about this and for supporting our family, I know you will do what you think is best and that is all I can ask. Goodbye.

Any suggestions for improvement? Or whether this is a terrible idea?

Thanks, SD