18 mos and counting...

[MonicaP]

This morning my H called to check on S4.5 who was very upset last night missing his daddy. In a nutshell, here's the string of our conversation:

Me: Can you stay later tonight, I'd like to talk about something
H: what about?
Me: I'd rather talk in person
H: I can't stay and I think you should tell me
Me: It's about the status of our M or D
H: Well, have you taken steps?
Me: Yes, but I don't want to talk over the phone
H: Well, my opinion won't change anything anyway if you've already taken steps.
Me: I'd like to talk about it with you in person
H: I can't tonight, work is crazy, and I've been feeling dizzy - but we'll talk about it (soon). Why don't you email me?
Me: I don't want to, but I'll at least tell you the basics.

This afternoon I emailed him this:

Hi XXX,

I would much rather talk to you in person, but until we have that chance I will at least tell you the steps I have taken.

I have filed for legal separation, child custody and support. In fact, it doesn't change much from how things are now. As far as child custody, I have filed for joint legal custody and full physical custody w/ visitation exactly as it stands now (with flexibility for expanding). Joint legal custody means we both have 50-50 decision-making power with respect to school, medical, etc. The support is just based on a formula.

Again, I would like to talk to you in person about the details.

This is the last thing in the world I imagined I would be doing. I will always have a little crack in my heart. I hope someday I will at least have some peace about it. But for now, I just need to keep walking forward doing what needs to be done.

Always,

Monica

H came by w/ S after school and hadn't seen the email. He seemed to have a smirk on his face (he typically looks sullen) and said he would read the email tonight. I asked if he wanted me to tell him in person later and he said "it won't matter if you've already taken steps" or something to that effect. I'm wondering if he's relieved now.
He then said he would need time to process it on his own. I said I understood.

So, what should I do now?

I have to hire a process server and our first court date is Aug 10th.

I'm in shock.

I could really use some support, feedback, suggestions...