NikkiB #17

[NikB]

Thanks all for posting!

ST

Replying to you in order of your posts...

I agree - I think he means "I'm not a good person" (based on things like tone, wording, mood at the times when he says it). I have a hard time validating that because I disagree, but obviously responding with "What are you talking about? You're a great person!" - not so effective. I like the way you validated it but still got that boundary in there.

And excellent reminder that I need to not take it personally if he says that. I am bad about that, and it's something I need to work on. He told the MC once that I'd "get uptight" when he tried to talk to me about things so it was easier to just not talk to me. I agreed then to work on being easier to talk to if he'd work on talking to me more (of course, next session was the S bomb... but still, it was something we at least acknowledged needing to work on back then).

Thanks for the good wishes today! Having an ok day - nothing exciting but nothing bad, so I'll take it. Poor H has come down with some kind of really bad cold/flu bug so he's pretty miserable and slept all day. Hoping I can avoid catching it myself.

Ali
Yes, it's great to laugh! I will have to look for Theo's post.

I think I knew what you meant on the boundaries - I have a whole list of stuff I'd like to work on or see different, but I can't just throw all those out there at once. It's about timing, taking it slow and working on what's important, I think. I wish I'd set more before he moved back home but... I didn't, so here we are and I do my best now.

Oldtimer
I now you were replying to Ali but - thanks for the "moving boundary" reminder, it's a key one that I forget sometimes.