I understand, IP, that it's so hard to feel good about him when you don't know if he is lying or not, but maybe since he has insisted he is telling the truth, you should just make up your mind to believe him
Yes perhaps you're right, I have started to think this myself but my heart doesn't seem to want to follow at the moment if you know what I mean. Its like this letter has made me think "actually you've really hurt me by doing this, this, this and so on thinking of all the things he did last year" I know its not fair on him to think like that and I shouldn't be but it is as though this letter has brought all the other pains I was burying away to the surface. Yuk.
I have also been thinking as you say that the crazy W could have just done it deliberately to hurt me because she is jealous me and H got back together or something. If that is the case I think it is such an evil thing to do. To knowingly write such things and deliver it knowing she could possibly cause our M to break up again.
It has been a really hard day again today. I am so tired as S keeps waking in the night a couple of times every night and I'm not sleeping right because of all this. H didn't want to talk about any of it and even snapped at me when I went to pick him up from work for no reason. I started to bite back but then (and this showed me how much I've changed) I took a deep breath and said "look, actually, I hadn't done anything wrong when you snapped at me first and then I've snapped back so actually I'm not continuing this until you decide to change your attitude." Nothing more was said and then just before he goes to bed he came up to me and said he was sorry for snapping and it was unprovoked and he shouldn't have done it!!!!!!"
He's gone to bed now with me still trying to make some sense of all this and wondering what I even think anymore.
