"If he is codependant and enmeshed, why the rejection; why does he see being alone as a better option?"
Because he cannot get away from making everything you do about him and everything he does about you without getting away from you.
"came at me with "narcissistic bully" a few weeks ago"
You are not a narcissistic bully. Again, this is H being too weak to maintain his sense of self and enforce his own boundaries. He despises himself for that weakness and projects it onto you. NO, suggesting this to him WILL NOT HELP. Indeed, it would make it harder for it ever to seem like a possibility to him.
H is defining himself by resisting you, pushing you away, rejecting you, not accepting what you say, REBELLING. But, you see, that rebelling is still all about YOU. It is still codependence, it just feels better because he is asserting himself. He feels heady with power that he felt he didn't have for so long.
But, it really isn't power, or at least healthy power, it still depends on the enmeshment. Everytime you explicitly or implicitly share a wish about how you want him to be, what you want him to think, what you want him to do, he has to push HARD against it to maintain a flicker of the sense of self he wants to hold onto.
When you share your disappointment that he doesn't think anything has changed, he has to make DAMN sure nothing has changed.
Anyway, with respect to the schedule, quit second guessing yourself. Your boundary is about YOU. Quit trying to manage H with it. Quit making it about him. You aren't psychic. Just take care of yourself.
