still going

[BeingMe]

My niece was a cutter ... was raped as a teen, and ended up doing drugs, cutting, and other weird stuff (really, really sad). My sister and BIL stuck by her, and helped as much as they could, with rehab, etc. She seemed to get over it all, but there are still times where she goes a little wonky. Presently, she is happily married, a new mom, busy at work, and seems happy. She does see an IC, which I think helps her keep on this track. Now there is where I think your W should be going. She needs professional help to deal with all this. You can't do it. Many people tried to help my niece, but she is very high maintenance, expecting people to pander to her very high expectations (and she tests one all the time, to see if you are truly there for her ... not seeing that she is, in fact, not there for you). She is easily offended, good at manipulating people and sitches to get her way. I understand what she went through as a teen, and it breaks my heart, but she is an adult now, and I am glad she is going to an IC, where she could be helped. Let me emphasize that my niece is not a bad person, in fact, is very helpful sometimes, and a great person to socialize with (she is the daughter of my elder sister, so we are fairly close in age, hence the 'friendship'), and she is extremely intelligent.

Do you see any similarities here? Try and get your W to get help. You can't do anything, except break your (and the children's) hearts, over and over again, until she has sorted out this issue.

I hope this has helped you in some small way.