Hey, IP, I guess things are going pretty well here. H has been acting nice for the most part. Today he and S have gone out to his father's and then off to dinner together. I am not invited, but oh well, I am going to fix myself a nice steak and salad.
I am wondering if the niceness that H is displaying is just the eye of the storm, where it's supposedly calm, or if it's because he has pretty much withdrawn from ow, and is no longer hung up on her, and therefore hasn't got that on his mind so much.
He is still coming home on time, and when the sergeant lets them off a little early, he is coming home, and not going "elsewhere". He isn't doing anything actively nice for me, but he is at least not being very mean very often.
He is talking to me alot about religion, and I am having to have answers at the ready for why I believe what I believe, which is not always easy, because he gets annoyed easily. So, I do the best I can, and we will have discussions that can last for an hour or more.
I wonder why he is always bringing things like this up. Maybe he is struggling inside to find out why he has done the things he has done and how to get things right again.
How come you weren't invited out to dinner? Don't know if you have Father's Day there and if you do if it is today like here - is that why? Do all the men do things together for it or something? Maybe your H thought it would be nice for you to have some time to yourself for a change?
That's great he is still coming home on time I know myself it makes it so much easier to trust them. Mine sometimes comes home early too.
Perhaps you're right about the religion thing maybe he is looking for answers in some way. I think its good you can talk for such a long time. My H really struggles to have conversations with me although if he is talking to other people he goes on forever.
Its lovely to hear from you again, I know I've been absent a bit lately, I think I was hoping I'd feel more normal with things if I wasn't posting here so much but if anything I think it is easier when I come here often. IP
Yes, we do have Father's Day here, and the original plan was for just the men to go out, but my H didn't get in touch with his F until a couple of hours before he wanted them all to go out to dinner, and my FIL had already gotten dinner for himself and my MIL. So, my H and S went out by themselves. My H commented that he went out with our S and me on Mother's Day, because he was the one with the money. I don't think he altogether understands the idea of family togetherness sometimes. I see the need for the men to get together without the women of the family at times, and they all had a nice weekend out of town a few weeks ago. Then I shocked them all by coming along to the family reunion a couple of weeks ago. My H seems to be puzzled by the new me, yet I think he likes it. I didn't used to go to the reunion, after the first year we were together, but I am doing stuff I haven't in years.
Yesterday, when he got home from his extra job, we were telling him about some changes they made to the interior of our church, and he was saying it was stupid. I didn't care too much for the changes, but I didn't think they were stupid, but I kept my mouth shut, which I am telling you, I am really learning to do alot. I think it is probably a pleasant surprise for my H that I don't jump at him about his opinions all the time anymore.
It is so weird, but my emotions are all over the place at times. One day I will start crying over the whole stinkin' mess, and the next, I am thinking well, okay if he leaves in a few years, like he was planning, then I will be okay, and maybe I could find a nice decent faithful man one day. Then the next day, it's something else. I guess I am also on the roller coaster.
Oh well, at least today seems to be a good day so far, so I will be happy today. I hope everyone else can find something to be happy about today, too.
Oh well at least they had a good time together and he is paying more attention to your S. I think you're doing really great, especially going to the reunion and doing lots of things you haven't done in years - well done you!!
I know what you mean about keeping your mouth shut I have to keep doing this too but sometimes I think why? Why should we have to go around not stating what we are thinking all the time? Sometimes it seems false and I think I don't want it to be like that forever. As you say it is just one big rollercoaster.
I'm glad you have found something to be happy about today - I did too despite the mess I'm in at the moment. Took son on a miniature train ride and he absolutely loved it and then fell asleep in the car on the way home and just looked so cute. I think he is the only thing getting me through right now.
That sounds so sweet, I miss my big hulking 14 yr old being a little one. We did so many fun things like that when he was little. He helps me to get through this like your S does for you.
I also think why I should have to not talk about what he has done to us, but then I realize that there is time for that in the future. Maybe when he is seventy, I will sock him in the eye.
I have, however made some comments at times, like last night, we were sitting at the table talking, and the subject of prostitutes came up and H tried to figure out a name for something, and S said mistress? I said no, that's when a man has someone, a wh*re on the side. H got kinda quiet after that for awhile. There is no doubt what I think ow is. I mean we watch the Sopranos, and Tony is always sleeping with some wh*re, and the wives and even the housekeeper call them that. And H hears this, so he can't doubt what a decent woman thinks of women like that. I think though I will let a little time go by before I say something like that again. Tonight is Sopranos night on A&E, and I will just let H watch it without comment on Tony's latest puttana.
Maybe when he is seventy, I will sock him in the eye.
Can I join that club too? LMAO,, you are Hilarious.
Speaking of Ws... the first time MY D7 saw hubbys Tattoo she said "you had another lady Daddy??????" and his reply " no Daddy doesnt know what he was thinking when he got that, he was crazy ..." Good one last nite... someitmes it just feels good to say it like it is .... I bet he was speechless.... God bless....
That sounds so sweet, I miss my big hulking 14 yr old being a little one. We did so many fun things like that when he was little. He helps me to get through this like your S does for you.
Yes they are really good at getting us through tough times aren't they. It is hard not to smile when they are around. I took S to a soft play area today which was great and last night while he was asleep I painted a height chart on his wall and he came running into the bedroom this morning to wake me up telling me excitedly what had appeared on his wall not knowing I'd done it.
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have, however made some comments at times, like last night, we were sitting at the table talking, and the subject of prostitutes came up and H tried to figure out a name for something, and S said mistress? I said no, that's when a man has someone, a wh*re on the side. H got kinda quiet after that for awhile
I bet he was squirming! Sometimes it is hard to resist saying things like that isn't it! I'm sure deep down your H knows what we all think of W who try to steal other W's men they probably even think it themselves if they're honest.
I also think why I should have to not talk about what he has done to us, but then I realize that there is time for that in the future. Maybe when he is seventy, I will sock him in the eye.
LMAO!!!!!!! You are adorable. Just stopped in to check on ya. It sounds like things are slowly going in the right direction. I too, try to remember that there is time. I don't have to resolve every issue overnight. That visual of yours will come in handy!
I've found that when I can bite my tongue and think it over, sometimes it just seems smarter to drop it. I too have made some "cracks" about the X"w"... what can I say, she makes it soooo easy I've decided I don't want him thinking about her anymore though, so well, I guess it'd help if I didn't bring her up.
The questions that arise out of the blue, the kick in the gut during a normal conversation when a piece of the puzzle falls into place and I realize why I couldn't get hold of him that night... ugh. The good news is, it gets easier.
Congrats on how far YOU have come. Hope ya get to make some great memories together this weekend!
I found you...of course, don't know why it was hard...anyhow, glad to see your posts.
I have not updated mine but I think it is more b/c I'm sad about d18 leaving for college in 8 weeks and knowing that I may never have all 3 kids (s21 is home for his last summer before college graduation) in the home again...and I know this is the way it is supposed to be! (Like I get that having d18 living forever in the attic is not actually a good thing, but dang, she is my buddy...) Naturally my sadness is somehow all H's fault...or so it seems at moments where I have to watch myself and say, wth are you mad at him for now at this moment? DOn't always have an answer but I guess it's the general "working on true forgiveness" that I have to do that I know you understand. So much harder and takes so much longer than I expected.
but then, the MLCer could make things easier for us to take them back. They don't want us holding crap over their heads forever and they're right for that. But i sure could use some more reassurances, plus my h told me he wanted the chance to be a better h to me, "kiss my feet" (nope, I did not request him kissing me there...) etc. But I think most of them want to apologize once or twice (recall your H's November incidents?) and or get remorseful, and MOVE ON....just takes us a little longer. And down deep I think there is some pride of mine maybe getting in the way, thinking h does not deserve me our M back...like I said, I am working on it.
BTW, no matter what cy says in his posts, please don't judge our church by his views...it's a big church with many different groups...you have my email, right? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
