searching patience with H / finding myself #9

[NikB]

Donna - I know you know this already but you really need to work on detaching again, getting back to where

I am only asking him to consider the possibility, get him back to the table to try. I know that there are no guarentees, but I am willing to make that leap of faith. My own IC has said that he may not be strong enough...

This shows so little respect for your H Donna - do you see it?

He's not wrong, you're not wrong, you just feel very differently about this issue right now. It doesn't make him weak or you strong, it doesn't make him the bad guy.

I wish I could plop everything that I have read into his head; hence, leaving the marked books for him, if he so chooses (I need to feel like I tried everything possible to save this M and my family, in order to look my children in the face...)

This implies once again that your H is wrong, and you are somehow better than he is. "If only he knew what I knew he'd think the way I think."

All that said I do agree with a lot of Oldtimer's assessment of your sitch too... what you need to let go of, though, is the need to fix/change your H. Take charge of your life, your future and your children's. Let him take care of his.

I know this is all so hard, and I'm really sorry.