\:D Thanks OT you are the best.... it like one of those Jigsaw puzzles ( BTW I hate JIGSAW puzzles) She calls MY H phone and now she is calling his so called friends phone. And why cant he just say" No it wasnt my boss dear it was so and so for so and so. " End of story. It was a simple question.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~






I said I wouldnt talk about it and really dont want to it just makes me sick! So I am going to stick to my boundaries.... to me getting me back at full throttle. He will either get better on his own or he will dig himself so deep that one day I will I may have to just say I have done everything I can and this is just enough.... I do not ever want it to come to that but how fair is it to continually deal with this type of BS? and I alone have allowed it. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yesterday my MOM stayed over ( I have had a strained R with her over the years b/c of her rudeness and negativity towards me and my KIDS*)and this am I am up at 5:30 am,,
Usually am..

I help with the crew my H has here and I needed to call the salesman and then call the crew leader then give him a "mapquest" to get there,, no biggie but this is what my mornings are like....
I asked my son for the home phone ( he was sleeping w/ it ) and b/c I spoke to my son.
When I walked ,quietly mind you ,by her she shook her head and made a face of disgust.. are you kidding me sleeping beauty? This made me so angry,,, just like my H treats me I thought. I have asked her in the past to leave b/c of her behavior. UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!???!!
WOW , I am getting sidetracked and I am supposed to stay calm. I must say that I am very disillusioned by this. I know this is all on him ... I know I have reached my boiling point whether it means anything or not I really dont care and yeah I am going to seriously try to not walk on Eggshells ever again. Like Jen told me you are the prize not him......
No no try just not walk on 'em. and BTW even sadder I cannot talk to my MOM about any of this... she is negativity in a bottle all day long everyday..... no exaggeration. have taken her to 5 star restaurants and she will actually complain the whole time. She was even mad cause my charger was lost and my brother keeps his in the same place everyday.
MY h is not really a complainer but I am so sick of others taking advantage of my good nature. She was better for a bit when I stopped talking to her for a bit and now she is back at it full throttle. She demanded we make her a separate breakfast, my son and his friend cooked again... cause she doesn’t like eggs and "chorizo" A MEXICAN SAUSAGE. she KNEW THEY WERE MAKING BREAKFAST and yet offered not to help at all and then was lecturing my kids that they need to help more......
WHEEEEEWH~
Next time she calls I will let it go to VM~ how sad really that my 56 year old MOM still acts like she is 3 years old. Last night at the Y she acted like a fool too.
Wow , VM definitely VM next time. Then she demanded a ride b/c she is boycotting the Public Transit System.... I said " sorry I have to be here for when the crew calls in case they get lost." she told me 30 minutes before she had to leave like I am at her beck and call and sadly I have allowed her too to treat me like a doormat. And one last thing I am built like Jennifer Lopez and she always says Women who are built like that have Butts the
size of Texas... NICE HUH????? AND when I walked in the pool yesterday after exercising she looked at me in a weird way.. It made me sad... like she was jealous of my body.
I feel like crying now just like when I was a teenager. I have come to accept my body and all its curves,,, I have a lot of them and men always turn their heads when I walk in the room , no exaggeration and I am not trying to be conceited. It used to make me so uncomfortable and now I just smile.
Yet I have been fighting seeing an ugly Woman in the mirror for years b/c of her. I was in therapy for three years when I was only 19... and my therapist told me to stay away from my own Mother....

It is ok .. I am strong and even thru my tears right now... not my Mother , nor MY H will rob me of this. He is always telling me he wants me to get stronger and yet I allow the idiotic things he does hurt me too, too much. Not anymore,, really I am already 36 and I want to enjoy the rest of the time that God has given me here. One day I will be gone and those who loved me best will not forget me or the beauty I made them feel by loving them all each and every one for them just who they are,, not to please be but just be who you are plain and simple and I will love you. Cause I have no right to judge only GOD HAS THAT RIGHT.
But I have come to realize it is k to shut out certain people if their negativity is too much for me to bear. I live as much as I can like God would want me to and yet I need to realize he did not put me here to suffer at the abuse of people who have no love in their hearts period. Enough is enough. I am tired of crying and tired of turning my cheek. No I wont be something I am not but I have had it.. I deserve the same Happiness I wish upon others.... It is not to much to ask,, it is What God put me here for to rejoice in his blessings and enjoy my life and not at the expense of others.....
Sorry this is probably a NOVEL,, but the thoughts just came out and I need to move on... I need to love me even more so I can move forward and ENJOY my life~ ;\)

God bless....