Yes it does. Because another EA would be a definite boundary shattering deal-breaker, and my way of dealing with that, should it happen, would be extremely clear cut.
Now, about the 'no sex' thing. There was a discussion on a thread the other day about boundaries Vs. preferences. That got me thinking. Is me wanting frequent (some? heh.) sex a 'boundary' or a 'preference'? Because if it's a boundary, and therefore a marriage deal-breaker, then it's a case of me choosing a decent sex life over - for example - choosing for my kids to have the opportunity to grow up in an intact, loving family (which, BTW, is very important to me) that has no serious problems.
It's a super difficult choice to make. Therefore, to me at least, it's not quite as clear cut.
As for waiting for her to let me off the hook. Yep, that's perceptive of you, cos I do VERY occasionally slip and have days like that, and maybe today is one of them. But right now, in the grand scheme of things, I'm choosing to fight for this. I'm still deciding how much of a deal-breaker this is, and therefore whether or not to drop a bomb on my wife (for want of a better term), because I'm making plenty of changes in other areas first, including communication between us, and I'm seeing noticable results in terms of her language and her affection towards me. I'm more than ready to do it, though, if I feel like I NEED to.
Maybe the 'blip' last year that she profusely apologised for is a bigger blip in her mind than I realise, and that she needs the time to get over her guilt, and to see and believe that the changes I'm making are permanent. Because, yes, I do understand - and freely admit - that I also played a part in allowing us to get to the state we were in 12 months ago.
So, maybe it's a waiting game? If so, I feel like I'm racking up the points right now...
With that in mind, I'm also certainly not 'expecting' another EA to happen. My wife isn't that stupid or that nasty. I am working on the trust thing 110% of the time, though, and I know and appreciate that it's ALL inside me now - and something for ME, and ME only, to deal with.
I just guess that if our SL was back to 'normal', then I'd be able to rebuild trust a lot quicker. Or does it work the other way round? Arrrgh! Heh.
