This is false: "At least with my mother's alcoholism, she was only killing herself..."
Here is your proof: "I have some books on codependency; I have to look at those again."
Alright, I'll give you that. Leaving her to her own devices only would have freed me, though. Leaving H to his own devices leaves me with a broken family, children who should never have had to live through this, in financial distress, stressed out without support and help, lonely, etc.
Yes, I am a grown-up. And if the man had died, I would have had to face all of these things. But he isn't dead, and he made a committment and promises...
My biggest fear before the bomb was that he would die, actually having nightmares that he was in a car accident during his hour-long daily commute. But those nightmares drove me to do something about it--I asked him every day to please wear his seatbelt, and we went out and bought enough life insurance to provide security for my kids.
I NEVER, EVER, saw a D as even a remote possibility. And the future that it presents sucks.
