His enmeshment issues are MUCH heavier than yours. He just wants you to pat his head and tell him he is still a good boy. Not your job. Don't do it. Don't participate in maintaining his fantasy of a D-life where he still gets to have everything he wants, including the use of your bathroom. Crazy. No, it will not work for you to live together and be D. Talk about unhealthy.
I have some books on codependency; I have to look at those again. It's just that the behaviors that he is about to do are going to have such a negative impact on me, my kids and my family. At least with my mother's alcoholism, she was only killing herself...
And I do hope that being displaced from the bathroom, telling him that I can't be around him and may not even be able to be friends, makes him think about the consequences of his decisions. You are right; it is not about punishing him, but trying to save my own sanity.
