WOW! Sorry this has to happen, but you are certainly not alone. One way or another, it happened to all of us here. You're off to a good start with the book and finding the website for support.
Another good book that helped me and my H was After the Affair, don't remember who its by. I would read some and then let him read some and then try to talk about it.
The tough part for you is the proximity of all the people involved. Well, you certainly now know who your friends are, and aren't. Good thing they are busted.
At that point, when I busted my H he went big time into blaming me for the affair. It took several weeks and the After the Affair book to get it thru his head that no one was responsible for his affair but himself.
That was our first step to recovery. He needed to accept responsibility for his actions.
Good luck, and take it slow. Nothing has to happen quickly, except that the affair has to end.
