I can honestly say that the one part of our marriage that I was best at was the sex part. The only thing I did wrong was push for it too much. Anything and everything she ever wanted out of sex I always always did my very best to try and meet her needs. If she would have asked me to hang upside down from the ceiling and tell her I loved her while she had sex I would have done it, haha.

There is another thread going about lack of eye contact and how its the WAS's way of blocking out or denying their real feelings. Yesterday was the first time my W had if not lowered the walls she's built up, at least temporarily opened up a gate \:\) That was the first time she let me even have a chance at connecting with her in anyway since this mess started. At one point during our encounter I had her look me in the eyes and I told her just how beautiful I thought she was, and she looked me back in the eyes for maybe 10 seconds which was 9 seconds longer than she ever had done before.

She has been telling me that I was always selfish and that me not letting her have her divorce was just more of my selfish ways. So in some crazy strange way me giving her a divorce seems to have helped. I even told her this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, I am not giving you this divorce because I dont love you or dont want to be with you, its just that since you seem to need it to be happy I will give it to you. It makes absolutely no sense to me, but I can say that was probably the most giving thing I have ever done in my life. I gave up my family, and hopes and dreams for the rest of my life for her to be happy. It'll be interesting to see where things go from here.