he had an affair w/ my best friend & got busted

[jtodd]

I've had suspisions for months now that my husband was having an emotional affair with my best friend. They work together and went to lunch together everyday. He and I were 'best couple friends' with her and her husband and spent lots of time together as couples. When I realized my H talked about her constantly, would go to her house when I had other plans, and told me she was his soul mate?! I questioned their relationship. He denied it, but after I pushed more, he finally admitted he didn't think he had feelings for me anymore. I was devasted and picked up Michelle's The Divorce Remedy. I stopped the pushing and questioning for weeks and felt that things were civil b/n us, but felt like the problems weren't being addressed.

This weekend, the OW's husband called my H and told him about text messages he had found on her phone. They had been busted! After finding out all the details (they had been planning a future together, talking late at night, sneaking off to the park when i thought he was at the gym, planning to have sex, etc)I am going through the process of grieving(how could this happen to me? i just lost my best friend as well.), disbelief, betrayal (from both of them!) and embarassment (she knows all our intimate details). After reading Michelle's book again, i know i have to stop asking Q's, start being positive, & stop pursuing. HOWEVER, he's not ready to work on our marriage-he's sad they got busted and is mourning the loss of her!!! How can we both work on this if he's not even sure he wants to??