She wanted a more than what we have. I mean there is a tension between us. She doesn't want this M anymore because it is not comfortable and she probably doesn't feel trusted, etc. Fine I get that. I don't want a M like this either. But that isn't just going to magically happen. She would need to step back in and TRY for that ever to happen (YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE). But she was too worried about hurting me to ever try. Well in the end...that only hurt me more. Now I have to go through life knowing that my W never even wanted to try and save our M. And I told her when this all went down that I would resent her if she didn't at least try...and on some level I probably always will. How could I not? She said for better or worse...well apparently that was bullsh!t. Just makes me sad to know that when push came to shove...she didn't have what it took to do what was right...to face the obstacle with love, faith and trust. Which is so much harder than facing with with anger, doubt and fear....but it is the right thing to do.
She had her opportunity to step up and have some faith and try to make this work...but she didn't. And I know in my hear that if she could have done that...it would have worked. I know it. Oh well. All I can do now is move on with my life having learned a lot about myself, about realationships and about life. You are right Ian....because of all of this...whoever does end up with me will be very lucky.
