For me detaching means realizing, accepting and embracing that your emotions state (eg, happiness or whatever) is your own. You determine the condition of your emotional health. Nobody else has that control over you or that responsibility. It is yours. Make sense?
Absolutely. It EQUALLY means that your partner's happiness is his/her own as well.
In this way, you quit making everything about you in two ways --
-- You can listen and support your partner without making it all about how he/she is affecting YOUR happiness.
-- You can listen and support your partner without making it all about how YOU can fix or manage your parter.
When you are enmeshed, you cannot love properly because you cannot really be there for the other person, it is always all about you.
We should be detached in all our relationships. Loving detachment is simply being detached from someone we love, thus making it even more important.
If I make a rude stranger's emotions and actions all about me, then it might ruin my day, but it is not going to really hurt an R. If I make someone I love's emotions and actions all about me, then I put the focus on me rather than the one I love.
So, if you hear "you always make everything all about you," LISTEN. Let go of your P and work on yourself until you don't have to make everything all about you to feel good or successful in life.
