Some great stuff here, in terms of your own growth. Frank D started a discussion about this on DNQ's thread - forget which one - did you read it? Very interesting.
My take on acceptance is that there are behaviours that you can accept in someone, but still not want to be with him/her. For instance, I can accept that my H is self-centered in the extreme. That's part of who he is, BUT I don't want a partner like that. Unless he worked at changing that, I wouldn't want to be with him.
I think it's important for us to respect ourselves, while at the same time, accepting our Ss. Honey, you're not Jesus, and neither am I! We can strive to love perfectly, but we are still human, with human needs.
I do agree that, in a healthy R, we must be able to show the human side of ourselves, the side that pouts, cries, yells. But behaviour that is destructive of self or others can be accepted, but not tolerated. IOW, if your H's behaviour is desructive of your R, you don't have to accept it, IMHO. You don't have to sacrifice yourself on the altar of "unconditional love." You can still love him, but maybe he needs more maturity for you to want to be his wife.
You are doing wonderfully well, Brava.
Love, Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
