Ian - great response! (It must be "Feel Sorry for Swash's WAW Week"!)
One thing struck me...
Originally Posted By: swashy
HOW does someone not ask their spouse about their new job? I mean what is that? I take a new job and not once does she ask what I'm doing, how I like it...nothing. I tell her that I'm going for a promotion and she says something along the lines of "well I'm sure he wouldn't give you the opportunity if he didn't think you could do it". Nice to say. But she has never brought it up since. I mean....it is like she is putting in effort NOT to be there for me. Trying so hard to let me down. I just don't understand how someone can be so selfish and so self absorbed.
My W did this kind of thing. In many cases, it wasn't "unconscious selfishness" - it was very deliberate. And (as usual) it was about HER, not about me. She was afraid that by taking any kind of interest in what was going on for me, by showing any sort of support, she would encourage me to rely on her and get some of that ol' WAW classic, "False Hope". But it wasn't about saving my feelings, it was about building a wall to protect herself. She was AFRAID to reach out to me in any way - couldn't afford to make herself vulnerable in the sitch as it stood at that time. Sad and pathetic in a way, but true... Maybe some of the same things are happening with her?
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
