Thank you so much for your email address, knowing I can contact you is great because you are always such a help. Unfortunately I'm nowhere near you so I can't take you up on the shoulder or the kick boxing I'm afraid. Perhaps you can describe some moves
I haven't got the SSM book so cannot look up the piece you suggest may help.
I'm afraid if I pull away from H he'll just plod along and not notice. He has only talked about this letter thing when I've brought it up. It has been a week now since I found it and if I don't mention it he just carries on as normal as though nothing has happened, talking about everyday stuff and inside my brain I'm screaming talk about the issue @?@?@!
We talked a little more last night while watching the massive storm out the window and he at least didn't get angry about me not believing him this time. I wrote him a note while he was at work last night saying how all this made me feel etc and it seems to have got through to him. I put in the note that I was calling an "amnesty" for him to just tell me and that I wouldn't scream or shout and that I would do my best to be forgiving. He thanked me for the letter and said he does realise that if ever there was a time to step up and admit anything now would be it but that he really is telling the truth.
I find myself looking at him and trying to read him to figure out if he is telling the truth. He kissed me on the forehead before work today and said he didn't want to kiss me properly until I wanted him to again. I just don't know. I feel empty, numb and very sad. I feel like even if he hasn't done anything with her the fact that he went to such lengths to keep texting her even when he knew I didn't like it is like a betrayal in itself. I don't know how to come back from this really.
I cannot believe you have survived all this for 1 yr 9 months! You;re amazing. It is about a month and a half until the anniversay of my bomb and I feel nervous about it as though it will just happen again on that day which I know is silly but the day fills me with dread. Have to go now but will try to post some more later because I can really feel everything slipping away here.
