Just got home from work. Not having a good mental day. I just want to explode and ask her what the #$@#%$# is she doing to us and our family. I know I can't but I am so tempted to today. S is acting like a basket case all the time now, being 8 we have had to start buying him nitetime underwear, it has been years since he had to wear those. I want the pain to stop for him and myself, I just do not know how to go about it.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
By giving her space and not making her an issue to either of you right now.
Exactly. Play with him, do everything he likes to do. Talk to him about other things, let him know he's loved no matter what mom does (don't say it like that, of course), DON'T talk to him about mom. He's old enough to know what's going on, and insulating him a little from that will help a lot. He's also young enough that he doesn't HAVE to talk about it, you can distract him from the problems somewhat. DO IT.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
He thinks and talks about it way more than I do. I am constantly trying to change subject, change activity. He is not the happy go lucky kid he was just a few short months ago.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
My son did the same thing, but he's doing better now. Your W wants to see you taking care of S. She sees that as an act toward her. Do everything you can for your S, and PRAY God will protect him from the harshness of reality right now. He doesn't need to be feeling that so much at 8 years old. It is really hard, but you can do it and your W will see what a loving dad you are, and that is attractive to her - guaranteed.
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
That I am doing, what she is seeing, got me. I know this is what I have to do, but she has to see that she is killing him emotionaly, I do not understand how any parent could do this. She is a wonderful women and a very loving mom, that is what gets me about all this at the moment.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
At some point you'll have to tell her, just not yet it doesn't seem. She's still undure you've changed (we're all going through this - they saw the crappy us for so long, it's hard to give us another shot). She's seeing, don't you worry about that - do it for you and your son and she'll come along soon enough.
I mentioned it to my W at the meetings we've had, and you've seen how she's reacted. She doesn't want to do anything with the 3 of us, she doesn't want to get S4's hopes up, but she knows our family is better together than apart. that's what your W will see, and you'll get a chance to talk to her about it eventually.
How're you doing personally? PMA? GAL? All those other fun acronyms?
We can talk ourselves into defeat or we can talk ourselves into victory - we are creatures of our thinking.
3/31/07 - Hit with a brick, leaving the dent there...
At some point you'll have to tell her, just not yet it doesn't seem.
I am lost, tell her what?
Originally Posted By: JR2007
She's still undure you've changed (we're all going through this - they saw the crappy us for so long, it's hard to give us another shot). She's seeing, don't you worry about that - do it for you and your son and she'll come along soon enough.
I agree, not enough time in her eyes to see it all, or even trust all she is seeing. As we all know, we hope they come along.
Originally Posted By: JR2007
I mentioned it to my W at the meetings we've had, and you've seen how she's reacted. She doesn't want to do anything with the 3 of us, she doesn't want to get S4's hopes up, but she knows our family is better together than apart. that's what your W will see, and you'll get a chance to talk to her about it eventually.
Mentioned what, stress on son? I can see your wifes point of view in not wanting to get your sons hopes up doing things together, but that is exactly opposite of what my wife is doing. As for that, maybe I am just reading everything wrong and she is moving forward toward a family status again. Remember, I am male and if not told directly, I don't know what I am suppose to think.
Originally Posted By: JR2007
How're you doing personally? PMA? GAL? All those other fun acronyms?
Uummm, yes I am GAL, cannot say I am exactly having fun with it by I am. As for PMA, has it's good days and bad, today just seems to be a pretty low one and for no real apparent reason, just mentally feel blah.
Last edited by 789; 06/21/0702:40 AM.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
