Ok, so how do you deal with the change-back pressure? Here I was/am doing really well, and then, boom, today all I want is to go running to H's place and beg him to come back. I know we can do this together, I want to say, all the while knowing that I'm not sure I can - or maybe even want to - do this together.
The good news is that I didn't beg or even mention what I was feeling when I did talk to H today, so I didn't jeopardize what I've got going - if anything - with my twilighting. Still, I hate the funky sad feelings today. I know more than ever that a divorce isn't what I want, even though I know I can survive and I have some great ideas and visions for a future that might or might not include H ... but today I don't want anything but for H to come home tomorrow and say that he loves me.
