Sorry...but Rob's and Ian's posts have had me thinking this evening and I just want to vent for a minute...just a minute. HOW does someone not ask their spouse about their new job? I mean what is that? I take a new job and not once does she ask what I'm doing, how I like it...nothing. I tell her that I'm going for a promotion and she says something along the lines of "well I'm sure he wouldn't give you the opportunity if he didn't think you could do it". Nice to say. But she has never brought it up since. I mean....it is like she is putting in effort NOT to be there for me. Trying so hard to let me down. I just don't understand how someone can be so selfish and so self absorbed.
She sent me a letter once when we were dating. Her dad was going to Ireland and wanted her to go but she didn't want to. And in the letter she started explaining this and her handwriting got really messy and she started say "how could I be so selfish"....then the next paragraph it was all clean again and she said she took a break and was ok. WTF IS THAT?! I remember thinking that it was so weird. Well now I get it. At her core maybe she is just that selfish. And I was raised in a family of selflessness. My parents who have nothing would give us everything. Her parents who have everything would give us nothing. Just so friggin' telling.
You get what to give hun! You give nothing but you expect the world in return. It all revolves around YOU! ME, ME, ME! WTF!
I tried so hard for so many years to give her what she wanted. She never thought about me and my feelings. I was laid off a week before our third son was born. I was really stressed out, taking care of our other two while she was in the hospital and I was freaking out trying to find another job. Was I stressed? YOU BET! But did she come to me and say "It'll be ok, we'll make it work"..something? Anything? NO! I just find out in her C appointment how "I wasn't ther for HER!" What about ME! I always tried to be there for her and she never even tried to be there for me. Gosh...I wonder why I was so unhappy.
Ok...off my soapbox. I'm ok. Deep breaths. Guess I just needed to get that out.
