It would help if S was gainfully employed, but at the moment , he's not. He quit his previous job because he was promised fulltime/permanent work at a large business here in town. My mom and I tried to tell him about this company, but of course, he went ahead and quit the job he had for a job he has yet to fully work at. This business is one of the largest in town, but also employs mainly parttime, seasonal help. It would have paid more per hour than his previous job, but has a horrible reputation as treating people like cat litter(easily discardable). So, right now, tonight..he's talking to some of his previous managers to see if he can get his feet back into his old job.
But it's been really tough for the both of us, because I can't hold my tongue 100% of the time..especially when he's so immature for his age. As my mom has said to me, he's like a lost soul. he just keeps drifting, not giving full thought as to what his actions will end up costing him.
When he DOES get a fulltime job, he knows that I'll be charging him 'rent'. It won't be much, but it will be enough that I can put it away, then give it back to him when he's ready to move on again. But first things first...and to be honest, the job market sucks big time around here. Commuting isn't an option, since his car has decided this is the right time for a swan song. His dad has been made aware of the car problem(s), but has not really made a commitment to help find/finance a replacement. Sigh.
He DOES do his own laundry, and once in awhile does the dishes/trash without my even dropping a hint. Picking up after himself? Hmmmmmmm... Not real proficient in that area yet! LOL
We had a hot air balloon festival here this last weekend. As I took off for work Sat am at 6:30, they were just rising from the fairgrounds. So beautiful and majestic. No sound to be heard..just the pilots hitting the burner to get them to rise. They were so low to the ground from where I saw them. I bet when you're up in one of them, you feel like you've left all your problems back on the ground. I don't know if I'd have the nerve to actually go up in one (without a parachute anyway), but they sure are nice to watch!
Thanks for your great advice Karen. You do have a good perspective of how me 'needing' him would help with his confidence level and self-esteem. I never thought about it from that angle before. I always thought I had to show him and his brother how self-sufficient I was without their dad around. I guess they probably have already figured that out with all the years that their dad dropped the ball around the house and around the family, but I bet I never let them know how much I need THEM in my life. I'm not the clingy type of mother, but I could at least let them know how important they are to me, and asking favors once in awhile might let them both know that we're still a family, and should be there for each other.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
