Bombs keep dropping - not meant to be??

[Jen_Jam]

Ip quick one as it's late.
Detach, detach, detach. Your H's inability to be upfront with you and his tendency to avoid conflict is putting a strain on your M. These are his problems which he needs to work through.
All the telling in the world won't help here - he needs to SEE it for himself and step up to the mark.
I had an H who would avoid conflict too - if you have the SSM book see pg 92 or 93 about a W who was married to a conflict avoider.

It would probably do you the world of good to pull away a little and take care of yourself. Don't run after H - let him come and find you.

You can always email me on [e-mail] - if you're anywhere near me I will gladly come over to be a shoulder to cry on. I can show you some kickboxing moves too which really halpe take out anger (I never actually hit anyone though, only the air!!!)

IP you are doing SO WELL. Remember who you are now, you are a far better person than before. Your H still has things he needs to deal with, but this process takes a long time, the WAS's always operate on a different timescale to us.

And if you want an idea of patience - well I am finally "there" in my M. This is 1 year and 9 months after the bomb. But well worth the wait - it chills me t think how different it could have all been if I hadn't found this site, read the book and made the superhuman effort required.