I have only been following your sitch recently and recently my own life is so confusing I have not wanted to post. I read from OT you have been havimg anxiety attacks. I am so sorry BTDT.
I used to feel all the time that I could not be authentic w/MY H. Like I had to rehearse everything I was going to say in my mind and when it came it of course it sounded forced and not too genuine. \:\(
and is also seems like you are trying to fix his moods for him with your PMA. BTDT too sweetie~

.... when I took the risk ( It seems like the world will swallow you whole cause I was not used to it and I still struggle with this believe me, it is easier said than done) and let him wallow in himself he 80% of the time let me know later he was sorry for being that way he was just in a funk. Then I would take the time if he seemed receptive to talk about what I was feeling and how we could change a, b or c together.

If you are anything like me you internalize it and think
" GOD WHAT DID I DO NOW???" I DUUNO YOU OR YOUR SITCH WELL but it is most likely just him and you need to let him work on this. Do you want to "fix" him and his feelings forever?
I am VERY, very guilty of this myself so please, please, do not take offense,,, it just that that may well be where a lot of your anxiety comes from. I too have tried to fix a, b or c for my own H and it gets me nowhere.

When I let go of it some my Anxiety lessened and I even took myself off Lexapro and I do well. It is when I "think" I can fix him cause I love him and I am his wife and I am supposed to is when I get into real trouble. Heart starts racing....

I have had trouble recently with /H ...

(but in time like OT states hopefully you can work on this together,, hopefully he will be receptive. )

... but ,MY H and I have come to a place where I can be my authentic self more and he doesnt make me feel bad for being so. What a relief!
Dunno just my two cents and thanks for posting your thoughts they have hepled me . I too sometimes illogically think if I do a,b or c like shortly before the bomb.... it will start over. \:\( It is not real but the mind is so powerful. It makes me feel better that I am not that only one with these irrational fears. Thank you. \:\)

Sorry you are having a bad day ,, you seem like such a fun loving person,, take it easy and listen to OT she gives some great advice. ;\) Your are very blessed to have her as a friend~
Take care and God bless....