He has to figure out who he is and what makes him happy. I don't believe he is there and can understand himself. So he looses everything that means alot. YOU and your DD. Some day he will have to realize or maybe not if not he can be miserable for the rest of his life and you can move on and have a good but not better life. Stand your ground and do what is best for you and your daughter.
Hugs to you and Like I told yoyo we will make.it.......
H called when I was out of the house. Told D16 that he was coming over late to sleep downstairs since he has to work tomorrow and there is no power on the boat. Guess he listened to me yesterday when I said I didn't mind him coming over (since it's going to be HIS house anyway), but to please call if he was going to show up at odd times (like 6am or in the middle of the night).
My gut tells me he has a date (that is why he'll be late) and I believe he had a date last night. I wish it didn't bother me!! At least I know there isn't just ONE person to replace me.....he's just searching! Now I really feel I can't believe anything he says and I feel like I need to watch the money now since he's taken out an abnormal amount of our joint checking this past week. Will have to address this with the lawyer.
What is more maddening, though, is why he made plans for Friday AND Saturday and is unavailable to D16. He has known he has to work on Sunday. She made him a cake for Father's Day and has some presents that she bought with her own money. She said she might stay up to see him. Why can't he realize he is hurting her???
D16 and I went to a movie together. I am finding it hard to leave her alone since she already feels deserted by her dad. But then that leaves no time for me to GAL.
Talked to MIL again today and she said she would like to shake H. I think I understand now why H didn't want to tell her.....she is calling everyone even though I specifically asked her to wait for H to talk to her. I look at caller id and say, "Now Grandma called ..."
I know I am spending way too much time thinking about H! I am doing constructive stuff to change jobs and look for a new home. It all takes time. At this point I am working hard at not crying when someone asks how I am.
Today was not a day I "waltzed toward acceptance", but reality definitely hit me like a ton of bricks! Did a little house hunting and that was depressing. Did some job searching on the internet and that was depressing. D16 has been unhappy about everything today and that was depressing. Then H calls and he sounded so happy and that was the most depressing!!!
Matilda, My D16 seems a little out of the social loop lately also. She just wants to sit around the house and like you I don't want to leave her alone. It is a very depressing time, isn't it. It's hard to accept all of those years we spent with them could be discarded by them so nonchalantly.
In the end we will be better and stronger people.
Hugs to you, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Thanks, Jak! Did you write about your weekend on your thread? I'll go check.
My PMA is so-so.....but much better than yesterday. I made an appointment with a lawyer for Thursday so I've got to get busy with the paperwork. This is a step I need to take.....just wish it wasn't!
Hey matilda Some how WAW posted this in my thread Here ya go Husband
Hi Mat,
I've been reading a little regarding quotes that fit my sitch and my W's behavior. She's always complained that I didn't pay attention to her and made her feel insignificant/inferior. I didn't, in fact, her brothers both told me that she treated me like sh$t and they wouldn't put up with her if they were married to her.
What I say to that is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt" No one can make you feel inferior without your consent". PMA, GAL and act as if all explain this. No matter what my wife does, I have control of my Attitude. She can't make me feel a certain way unless I let her. Even though I know she's w/ OM, she doesn't control my PMA.
Keep strong, the aliens that took our Spouses may one day return them. I am not waiting for that day, I am seeking legal action and interviewing attnies. I don't want to let her decide my fate. _________________________ ME: 39 ring on wife:38 ring off WAW/MLC son:17,11 dtr:9 mar:17yr Bomb4-27-07. EA/PA 2/07 with 22yr old. DBing 5-19-07 My story on the link below. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1069470&page=0#Post1069470
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Matilda, I started taking yoga last year, to help me gain more flexibility for dancing. I love it, from a conditioning standpoint. You will feel better, lose weight, and become more tone. It's also helps to have an activity that slows down the pace of your day.
Have fun!
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
