My marriage is hopeless IV

[Hope_11]

Sorry to hear that things didn't go so well ERC. Don't beat yourself up over bringing up the affair. You didn't do anything wrong, she did. You bringing up the affair is not going to cause your marriage to end.... your w's behavior and her avoidance of dealing with the affair are. I think all of us LBS beat ourselves up way too much. I am doing it right now. My H got very upset with me for visiting his father on Father's Day. At first, I thought that I shouldn't have done that or I should have lied, but then I think about it and decide that then I would be just as bad as him. We are all good people, who never did anything bad enough to end a marriage over. We do our best everyday in dealing with this h$ll on earth and we all have slip ups but we are human and we make mistakes. My H actually told me that if I wouldn't have talked to his mom and sis, we could have maybe worked things out. I should have said to him that maybe if you weren't living with another woman, we could have worked things out. WTH?

I don't know when we get to the point of accepting. I am still not ready to accept D, but I am the one that told my H to proceed with it. I think there is a point where moving on looks like the best thing for us when our spouses just continue to destroy our marriages, themselves, and us. At this point, I don't think that my H will ever become the type of man that I want to be with. If the OW wants him like this, I say let her have him. She helped create this monster and I'm done. They can have each other. I still love my H very much and don't want a D, but sometimes we don't get what we want. I keep thinking this is what God thinks should happen, at least I hope.