honey each conversation or day that passes like that, is like a page in a book of your lives and marriage. The more pages of day to day functioning life, interacting with kids and doing what we DO in life, the more pages the bigger the book and the harder it gets to just pretend it was all some long drawn out mistake.
If her needs have changed, fine. She has the duty to tell you what needs have changed, which she can handle and what you can do to help meet her needs, if you want to. I read somewhere that in Good marriages you should ASK for 100% of what you want from your partner---BUT-----be prepared to negotiate. The first part isn't selfish, it's honest. As adults we are responsible for saying occassionally, "I WANT THIS--!" and this does not make us WAS'. Just makes US CLEAR and it's unfair for us to make our spouses guess wrong and then blame them when we could have spoken up like big girls.
Sometimes my h rents a movie he thinks will please me after I specifically say "go get a guy movie and I'll get a chick flick". So, no more reading minds. And keep having those safe days. They're safe and the more of them, the better. If she feels unpressured and yet still has access to the good side of the kids, she'll want to be with them more and not b/c of guilt--which she'd eventually resent YOU for causing...make sense?
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
