No one says you should not address a problem. We're saying that sometimes there are ways to address problems OTHER than talking about them, AND some people are really turned off and not at all helped by talking about issues. They are much more interested in behaviors, actions, etc. or are simply not that verbal.
Hey, If R talk is working for you, go for it. But since you are here struggling with it, I assume doing No R talk is a 180 for you. So keep doing it, b/c you know that talking about the R did not help and so far, that's the only thing you've tried.
Really re-read the underlying theories that support the whole solution based approach to therapy, as opposed to discovering the "why's" of it all...figure out what you are doing when you are happy and just doing more of it....sounds so simple, and yet can be quite difficult.
just food for thought. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
