OM/PA, MLC and the hits keep coming............Pt2

[andyv]

WAW,

Is there any way that you can possibly separate your money without going for legal separation.

Our finances are pretty complex, with our house etc, and we have organised for W to get an allowance to cover what she needs to live on. I know how hard it is to think about your W spending money on OM, it was hard for me. I still cover the bills and everything for DD, along with groceries etc for home (because most of her wage goes on the morgage, and I top it up along with paying for everything else).

I tried to suggest an even split with everything, but when I sat down and worked it out, my W was going to be in the red if we did do that.

But I have found that my W has been spending less due to having to manage her own allowance, to cover her entertainment, clothing and food (lunch's and coffee's at work).

I have also found that she is more careful with her money now, and other than spending time with OM and friends, she does not go nightclubbing near as much (poss due to being in a R?, but she did mention cover charges, parking etc built up).

Maybe legal separation may be the go, but it may also tick her off. I know you don't want to be in limbo, but I still think now is not the time to be making ultimatums with you W, it may go "pear" shaped.

This will be a long process for you, and you will have more ups than downs. If your really want to salvage a new R with your W, it will take time and a lot of hard work.

But only you know your sitch better than anyone, and if you think legal separation is the go then that is what you need to do. I know how stubborn my W is, and any ultimatum would have given her the energy and committment to end things as quickly as possible.