It proved that I could change but unfortunately I was making changes in response to MLC influenced complaints rather than valid complaints
This is a chicken and egg thing. My ex admitted to something of an MLC, but her complaints were valid. Make sure you learn the lessons.
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The last two years confirmed it was not about me.
You were there for 25 years and based on the above, you can't deny that things happened during the first 23.
I just want to point those things out because where the relationship was led to where it is. There are plenty of people who go through MLC and do not break up marriages. They real problem is that they didn't voice their concerns when they should have and stewed in their unhappiness. And then they run away because they are afraid they won't get the feelings back.
And if I may, I have an example. The guy who was my best friend in high school found a girl and from that point on, I barely heard from him. I was his bets man. And when I did hear from him, it was on his terms that he wanted to get together. I became best friends with another fellow (who to this day is my best friend). I moved away after marriage and when I was going to be in the area, I would always call. Hey, I will be here on such and such dates, perhaps when you go to see your mother (who lived in my hometown), you can stop by. Hey, we can meet for a drink. This went on for years and I stopped calling. And now he is pissed that I don't call to the point where he talked behind my back at the last class reunion. And said things to me like hey, best man, you never call. Well, he forgot about the 15 years I did call. (One of my other closest buds had a similar experience with him and doesn't care anymore either.) Now, of course, this is not a marriage, but I no longer have any feelings for him. It is neutral. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.
