Why is this like this?

[verysad2day]

NDDT, next time an event comes up that you would like her to join, try saying it like this: hey, thinking about joining child and I at the 4th of July picnic. That way you are not asking her for an answer right away. My DB coach told me to stop the persuit and chase and give them permission to stop running. Once they stop running the will stop and watch. He gave me a senerio....always have a fun picnic going on in your life but don't invite them to join. Make them watch and wonder what all the laughter is about. Instead of running, they will take a few steps closer to get a better look. It is much like small children at a public playground. If there is a shy child they are unlikely to join the others if they feel pressure to join the group. If they are ignored, they eventually move towards the group at their pace, therefore, it was their decision and that is safe for them.