You said to me once that I was married to your H...ditto!! My H has said he thinks we should take care of all this by ourselves, and then just get a lawyer to file it for us (and H is getting "help" from his 'friend/OW' who is an attorney going through her own divorce!!)
But for my H, it all kind of fits in with his IMHO fairly naive 'plan' of how this will all work. When he was in major spew mode during the blowup over me staying in the house, he said, "You'll get your mediator...since everything's going to be a negotiation...i'll probably get stuck with all that debt from Ireland" (and i'm sure he will, given our relative incomes, his larger 401K, etc, and the whole equitable division of assets business...WTF?? What state is he living in?? Methinks the state of denial!!)
I think you both have a point here...
Quote:
Originally Posted By: stillme Finally, if we had even $10K cash in the bank, I positively know that he would have taken some 10K of it to a L already & started the process. H is so financially, I don't know, "responsible"?? that he cannot/willnot/does not WANT to go into debt for this D. (And, if he hasn't seen a L, he doesn't even know the worst of it I'm afraid.) Since there is no savings, and since I don't have the steady or higher income (yet), he will (maybe knows this) most likely be asked by me to pay MY L fees as well. OMG! This is something he cannot get around in his head.
That is very hard for me to relate to, that his sole motivation here (in not making the D happen) is saving some money.
(Okay, so I have some work to do on figuring out the 'quote-within-a-quote' thingy)
It may not be the real, deep-down reason...his actions seem to indicate to me some real "convincing himself that he's right" behavior... but I can certainly imagine that that's what he thinks in the moment is the reason, since he's such a 'responsible money' guy...
Okay, i'm off to work on a response/further questions to your post on my thread...Nomopo, come play at my house soon!
