Why is this like this?

[Nomopo]

I guess I have a slightly different take NDDT. Consider it for whatever it's worth.

We did have some daughter scheduling talk. I did thank her for the fathers day present. I asked her if she had had her hair done as I thought that it looked real good.

I also asked her if she wanted to attend my work picnic with me and daughter in July, and she did turn that one down. That was probably one I should have left alone, but I did it in a light way, was probably some pressure, but I guess I did get the message across that I am still willing..... Now I guess I need to leave it be.

Ok, so you tried three four new things, right? They may all be part of the same strategy (be light, upbeat, positive, try to create some positive interactions). Now, time to analyze how she reacted immediately, and then watch for results over the next few days or even week. And I wouldn't abandon the strategy now and go completely DRAK again, solely focusing on yourself. Let's look at what you did:

First, you tried to have a better PMA and external attitude, right? How did she respond, if at all? (You should definitely keep this up for a while.)

Second, you thanked her for the Father's Day card. Any immediate reaction? Keep an eye out for other later reactions. I'd still with this strategy too. Don't force it, but thank her when you can for calling about D, doing stuff with D, whatever you can think of that she does that you appreciate.

Third, you complimented her hair. I liked that one. Any reaction at the time? Keep an eye on her, and I wouldn't hesitate to try this strategy a few more times over the next few weeks. Is this her LL?

Fourth, you asked her to the picnic. Probably too much right now, but you realized it. No biggie, minor backslide. But you learned - she said no. Put this one the shelf.

I did notice that she did look pretty tired. Like that she was not sleeping well, and perhaps sad.

I think this is what Swashy and Chevelle are responding to when they say don't overanalyze her. You can't get in her head. Stop worrying about this kind of stuff. That doesn't mean you shouldn't monitor the results of your new behavior around her.

I suppose at this point I have no indication that our situation is escalating, so maybe no news is good news? I dunno.

I'd say so. It seemed like it was getting worse for a while.

Just do your thing (PMA and GAL), and don't try to mindread her. When she is ready to communicate, trust me, she will let you know. For now, just do what works for yourself.

I agree with all this, but I still say look for results, anything different, in how she reacts to your new strategies. And give them time to work. Going dark didn't seem to be successful, agreed? So, for now, just do what works for you but see if it works for her too. And if it doesn't, is there something else that works for you that you could try to see if it works for her better? Get it?

When you act as if everything on your end is pleasant and happy, even if you have to fake it, it will make you more attractive to her and maybe slowly start to wake her up to warm up to you.

Agree 100%. I think the strategy will be good for you. What's the worst thing that could happen? Your M fails (note; if that's the case, then it probably would have any way despite you being positive, happy and upbeat), and you guys get along reasonably well and both do the best you can vis-a-vis your awesome D.

Just my 2 cents,
Nomopo