Why is this like this?

[Tamashii]

I'm so afraid that she'll take my actions as if I am okay with a D

I told my wife that I don't agree with her, but I can't stop her and she will have to do it.

She filed a year ago and has done nothing else since.

They ALL say what your W is saying. It's blather. You are not agreeing to a D by saying I don't agree but I can't stop you. You don't have to help her by agreeing to it. Just make her do the footwork and see what happens.

Take the word divorce out of your vocabulary. Never bring it up.

No 'IMYs' 'ILYs' or anything like that. All she will hear is whine, whine, whine.

These techniques keep you from making the situation worse, which is your main concern. The less she can complain about you, the more she has to look inside herself. Someone who is being chased runs faster. Don't chase and she won't run so hard.
This is KEY!

David