Stillme's Chapters Continue Some More

[Nomopo]

Thanks for all the updates still. Great stuff. Good journaling, and you're handling it perfectly. I believe your H is likely the hardest nut to crack (except for those nuts that simply won't crack, cause I think yours will eventually - really).

*sigh* H just did another "Can I talk to you outside?".

Hey, is it positive or negative that he brings it up? Why does he bring it up? He can't be too far gone IMHO. He is not doing what someone who really has moved on and made up his mind would do, which is just file and serve the damn thing and decide on his own about the Ls vs mediators, and all the other details.

He siad "Not if you don't contest it & we go down to file it together." I said (and part of this is new for our Talks) "I will not do this WITH you, J. I will NEVER file for D myself, and I will not say this is a JOINT agreement. D is your decision, and you have every right to make it, but it's not one I agree w/, want for my life, or think is warranted for our situation. I would pay as much money as L's would charge, and then some, to re-create a Happily-Ever-After M w/you." H: "What's that mean?" Me: "There is alot that can be done to fix what went wrong w/us, and give us a wonderfully loving & respectful M. I want that kind of M -" H: "With who? Me?!" Me: "Yes. I want that kind of M for me, and I want it for you, too." H: "Well, that's not going to happen." and I think this is where he tried to get it back to L's & money. . .and after a pause, he said something like "Well, I guess it has to be L's then." and I gave a tiny little disappointed squish of my mouth, turned & went thru the door into the house.

I am so glad you got this in, and it sounds perfect. As ugly as things have been, I'm glad you made these points in a non-ugly R talk. Of course, expect the predictable push/ugly stuff at some point (hopefully not), so you're prepared.

OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT HERE YET, but I have to wonder what he would do if one time you said, "Fine. Go with the Ls. Let's divide the assets right now, let's do it! You want a D, you got it." Personally, I think he might cave.

Hugs,
Nomopo