I know this is going to sound cliche. But the only person you are hurting with all your thoughts is you. If the OW is out of your husbands life, she is no longer hurting you. You are stuck in the past, and living the pain over and over again. Open your eyes and be grateful for what you have today, otherwise you are still letting the OW dictate your happiness, and your future.
Have you have your husband been completely open with eachother, do you feel he has shown remorse for his actions? Have you read the book After the Affair? It sounds like you two may have some unfinished business. You have not yet forgiven him for the pain he caused your family.
You really only have two options.
1. Let this consume you, and never forgive your husband. 2. Forgive, and move forward. The past has already happened, the future hasn't happened yet, and all you have it today.
How you handle today will direct what your tommorow looks like. I can guarantee that unless you can forgive, your marriage to your husband will fall apart again. So its your choice. Might as well make it today.
