After six months of trying, she said there is just too much. I haven't changed. I am still the same way. She can't trust me. While we were at Disney last week, I was checking my e-mail and she saw I had an e-mail from MySpace. She didn't know I had a MySpace page. I'll take the blame for that. I didn't think much of it. I didn't check it that often. I created it while we were separated to find old friends from high school. I let her look at it thinking it would clear things up by her seeing there was nothing on there. I wasn't trying to hook up with anyone. She doesn't believe me.
Yesterday, she checked the voice mail on my phone and someone from the past wished me a Happy Fathers Day. At first, I didn't recognize the voice, but then I realized who it was. I told her who I thought it was and said I haven't talked to her since February. She thinks I am sleeping with someone. I am not. I haven't since we have gotten back together. I had a one night stand while we were separated and she was with the person she left me for.
She said there is too much. She can't trust me. We talked last night/this morning. Afterwards, she left. When she came back, she said she doesn't want to do this anymore. I asked her if she was sure. She said she believed so. This time, I didn't cry, beg, or plead. She is going to stay here until she can get herself together. We haven't decided about the kids. I want her to stay, I want to work on it, but this time I am going to let her go.
We are supposed to go to counseling tomorrow, but it doesn't seem as if we are going to make it. The therapist said at our last appointment that she would like for us not to make any big decisions for awhile. Guess that is not going to happen.
During our whole time back together, she was still going to the dating site she was going to while we were separated. She knew I knew and still did it. She even told some man she doesn't think it is going to work. I figured she would have to get it out of her system the same way I had to. I was willing to deal with it as long as she was trying. Now that she has decided she doesn't want to try, I am putting up my wall so it will not hurt as much.
Just for the record, I have changed. She just doesn't want to see it.
This sounds a little strange, she still had all of her stuff going on and she's mad at you about Myspace and a Happy FD phone call?? I think there has been some contact with the OM or something is going on with her and she's trying to blame you, this is typical with a WAS. They have to blame someone, but when the dust settle she will be stuck looking at herself.
Well our WAW don't want to see the changes that we have made and they think it's just to get them back. But make sure the changes that you've made are real changes and make sure that they stick.
My WAW told me that I haven't changed, she's don't want to see them because she knows that she making a mistake by leaving. I was a good guy before the S and now I'm a great guy.
Hang in there! Make your changes stick.
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
She just asked me if I was going to take the kids. I was fine until she asked that. She has had some attempts to end her life and she thinks I will use that to take the kids.
She is resolute right now on leaving. While I no longer believe she is a WAW, I do believe she is fed up with all of the stuff from the past and now she can't believe I have changed. I have said it all before and didn't change. The problem is now that I have changed, all the lies before are haunting this situation.
I do not believe she has another man at the present moment. Maybe she wants one. What do I know? I do know right now it is over and it hurts because I have been doing right.
My changes are permanent. I am a better person. But if she is serious about a D, then let's not drag this out any longer.
It's just so odd to me that in the society that we live in, it's encouraged for people to just pack up and leave. But I guess the only thing you can do now is give her what she think's she wants. I know that it sucks and it's going to be hard, but what choice do you have?
Me: 37 WAW: 31 M: 6 Years No Kids BOMB: 9/4/06 D: 9/16/07 my sitch
I have been giving so much of myself that sometimes I forget to think about me and my needs. We were supposed to be going to New Orleans next month for her birthday. Everything has been paid for. I guess i will be going by myself now.
This hurts. I am not unique. Everyone who is on here is trying to work their situation out.
I don't want to quit trying, but if I keep trying and nothing happens it is going to hurt more. I am trying to remember what I did before to start the reconciliation.
She used to say i had a sex addiction because I wanted it so much. When she decided to give it another go, I stop asking and let her initiate. So, if she didn't want to, we didn't. I stopped talking to other women. She never believed I stopped. She said she can't trust me now.
She hasn't filed because she can't afford to. I am going to give it a week or so and see if she changes her mind. If she doesn't, then I will. I went to a lawyer back in January when I thought she wasn't coming back. So I already have a lawyer.
I have been fighting for almost a year now. My W is still on dating sites and I say nothing because I want her. She told the OM that she fell for him and when he dumped her, she didn't know what to do. I had to read about their affair. Every detail about how it began, How it continued, and how it ended. now she is on there trying to find someone else to fulfill that need. her profile says she is not looking for a replacement to what she has, just a supplement. And she is still there.
I have been fighting. I am not giving up, but I am letting go.
