So we had planned on renting a place for our seperation that my wife and I would go back and forth from so our kids would stay in the same house. Our family counselor suggested it, if we felt our seperation was a 'exploratory' seperation.
At first i was okay with this, but two things happened.
1. My wife came home late (4:30 or so) Sunday morning, and then for fathers day, she was a total b*tch to me. Now, i got up with the girls, got them ready, took them grocery shopping (because we had no food), and made them breakfast and lunch. I'm tired of being treated like i'm doing something wrong. I am not the one leaving the family for a 26 yr old. Oh and guess what I got for fathers day. (NOTHING). I finally said, for fathers day i want to take the girls to my favorite pizza place, i said you can come if you want. Well we ended up all going together, and actually had a good time.
2. Friday night after a ballet recital for my kids (we drove together), my wife suggests dinner. So i say lets just go to the 'tgifridays' right here. She says 'you don't want to go there.' Apparently OM has a friend that works there and its a big hang out place for him. TGIfridays.
It sounds stupid, but its the straw the broke the camels back. If my wife wants to date a guy that hangs out at a TGI Fridays, fine. I honestly hope she finds happiness, but i'm not going to sit around and hope for her to come back to me while she explores a relationship with another man (especially one that hangs out at tgifridays). All these WAWs feel like they have us to fall back on. I'm done, she made her decisions, I'm better than that.
I told her yesterday night before dinner, that I understand that she is confused right now (based on her telling me that recently), but i can't do it anymore, her words and her actions are saying different things to me. I am tired of feeling like I did something wrong, when I haven't done anything wrong.(when she gets in a funk because she is 'stuck' in our relationship). I just want the best for the kids, and i need to move on. I told her I hope she finds happiness, and her and him end up happy together.
I told her I probably would be able to rent a house that is going to be available on the 1st of July. I told her i am thinking I'll just move there. She then said 'why do you get to move out, and get new furniture, etc', I replied 'this is really hard on me, i don't want any of this, but you made your decision. I just need to move forward. If you want to go rent a place instead, fine. If not, then i have to.'
So we had dinner together at my favorite pizza place, the kids were angels, we had a few drinks, and actually had a great time.
Afterwards, my wife and I were talking at the house (a little tipsy), and I asked her if she ever thought we were making a big mistake. She paused, and said maybe, but she talked to her counselor and her counselor said 'whats the worst that can happen? you leave, you realize you made a mistake and then you come back to your husband and ask his forgiveness, and then he either takes you back or not... You have to live with the consequences though if he says no.'.
Honestly, the longer this goes on the less I respect her. I deserve a lot better. So i need out for my own sanity. We LBS are too nice, i'm not going to sit around and watch as my wife 'explores' a relationship with another man. I love my wife, I want more than anything for my family to stay together, but i'm not going to be compared to another man and hope to be the one that comes out on top. My wife made her decisions, and now she has to live with them. She will either be happy with him, or she will realize what a big mistake she made, either way it doesn't really concern me anymore.
I am not really angry, and I'm not going to allow this change in my attitude to affect the way i deal with my wife. I am still going to treat her well, i am still going to stick to the same boundaries with her as far as what i'll talk about and what i won't. I just need to get my space from this situation.
