Weirdness in the Hap household

[Crazy Eddie]

Crazy Eddie, it was really helpful to hear things from your point of view when you have been LD due to meds.

Glad I could help. One other weird thing I forgot to mention. Nowadays I can get erections just fine, thanks to a little more help from our friends in the pharmaceutical industry. Each dose lasts about 24-36 hours. During that time, I can get as many erections as I need, but I can generally have a maximum of one (1) orgasm.

So if we're going at it again the next day, or I had done a "test deployment" at my computer to see if the medicine kicked in yet and carried it a bit too far, I'm just not going to be able to finish. The first few times, this really threw her for a loop... she went nuts trying to push me over the edge, and eventually I'd had enough and had to tell her it just wasn't going to happen, and she took it a bit personally, as if she had failed me. And I saw that I must have driven her completely nuts for years by thinking that way. Again, I'm amazed that she was ever willing to have sex with me after a while. Anyway, I was able to get her to understand, deep down, that it was the meds and not her, and it helps of course that not being able to orgasm is so highly unusual for a guy that it just has to have something to do with medication.

Maybe I should adopt a feminine nom de plume and start an advice column.

This is the key. So many people here complain about "duty sex" or "pity sex". I do get what they mean and understand why it is unsatisfying to them, but maybe we need to let go of the mindset that we are not desirable just because out SO's don't fancy it right now, and be happy that they can do something to give us pleasure.

Yes! We are desirable whether our SO's are in the mood or not. And if we're not desirable, it's certainly not our SO's fault, and only we can fix it, and pressuring the SO to either desire us or console us for not being desirable or even show us how to be desirable won't accomplish anything useful.

But here's a thing, last night the usual overtures. Then because I wasn't really reacting he said "are you tired?" So I said "No, I'm just a bit fed up that you never give me a chance for it to be my idea, I can never get a grope in edgeways"

So he said - "Oh OK" and left me alone and just lay there. Then said "How long a gap do I have to leave - a week?" I just said "we'll see". There was no sense of tension or disappointment in his voice.

A sense of relaxation and no pressure came over me, and sure enough in about a minute I felt desire. The rest is private.

Wow. No tension or disappointment? Where did this guy come from?

Mr. Hap, I've got a feeling that you're lurking here. And, I'll tell you right now, Way To Go! Now you're getting it!