Then wear your skinny dude jeans -- hich your wife happens to think are very hot.

You've got every woman in your town flirting with you.

I think your butt must be very firm and tight to get this kind of attention.

And...I think it's a crime you don't allow spandex to cradle and display your ASSets more fully to the world.

You know -- the kind of ASSets that guys like to slap in locker-rooms.

Shapely, but firm. Not the kind that jiggle around like jello.

A firm and muscular gluteous maximus.

That's what I'm talking about.

You sure you don't want to go horseback riding with me in Montana?

--Theoden