This is what makes me think separation is premature for you guys: she doesn't know what she wants. She's not willing to move to Texas, come hell or highwater.
The main form of power you have right now is to say, "no" when you don't want something:
"I want to take the kids to Texas right now and I want you to buy us a house." No
"I want to sleep with other men." Not in this house.
"I want you to move out so I can have space." No.
Think of her as a spoiled teenager.
Then tell her what you want.
You can tell her, "I want to move to Texas, and this is my time frame. It may not match yours, but if we cooperate, I think we can both get what we are looking for, regardless of the outcome of our relationship."
Lay boundaries. Remain strong and stable. Keep the door open.
