Hopeful Happiness

[princess_nic]

It's so nice to have such wonderful support from all of you!!
Thank you so much!

I'm not doing so well today. A couple of not-so-good things have happened. But I also didn't sleep well last night, which never helps matters.

First, the appraiser dropped off the house evaluation yesterday, and it's $60,000 higher than the highest I thought it would be. I looked through the report, though, and it seems very fair. I just was unaware that prices had skyrocketed AGAIN in my area. It is now worth 3x what we paid for it in 1998. I told H and he was as surprised as I was. Then he complained about the appraisal fee (we are each paying half) b/c he charged $250 more than another one he recommended. I just got off the phone before I blew up at him. Hello!!! The appraiser just handed him $200,000 and he bitching about $250??!!

I was so stressed out over this bad news that I went over to my parents house. We had a nice dinner, and my dad told me not to worry about it. Thank God for them.

Secondly, H had some big work thing on, apprently, Sat night, so kids were with me. He couldn't take them Friday instead b/c he had another work thing on. D10 was VERY upset b/c she wanted to spend more time w/ him, since last w/e, they only saw him for a few hours. Then, D10 got invited to a b'day party next door, so H was going to pick S5 up at 10 and then D10 at 2. Well, he didn't show till 3:30. She was almost crying at the party b/c it was Father's Day and she wanted to see her daddy. What a jerk! His phone was dead, and he didn't call till 3. Oh where was he? At a movie with his g/f and the two boys (my S and her S). D told me that she told him she was upset, so I'm glad about that.

Third, his phone is dead and he doesn't have a landline. S is sick today (more later), so he told me to call on her cell b/c he took the day off and is spending it w/ her. This makes me want to throw up b/c he NEVER, EVER took a day off work to spend with me. NEVER. F*ck! Why couldn't he have spent some QT with me? That's his LL, but he sure as hell never made any effort there.

Lastly, and worst (believe it or not), H dropped the kids off much earlier than usual this am, around 7:30. S5 was having trouble breathing, sounds like croup. He had is as a small baby. Apparently, he actually couldn't breathe (acute asthma? He doesn't have chronic asthma, but he has a cold.) this am for a bit. This happened to me once when I had bronchitis. It is terrifying! Luckily, my doc had given me a puffer "just in case." H took S5 into the bathroom and ran the shower, and he got a bit better, but was crying for me. So H brought him home. He's breathing normally now, but I'm going to the doc in a few mintues.

When H brought him home, he told me what had happened. I cuddled S and he was okay. But I'm SO, SO upset at the thought that, had he died, I WOULD NOT HAVE SPENT HIS LAST MOMENTS WITH HIM. Instead, he would have been with H and his stupid gf. OMG - I had never even thought of this. If anything ever happened to my kids when they were with him, I woudn't be there. All b/c of their selfish A$$HOLE father.

Ok - off to the ped.