Just an update on the saga of my MLC journey with a WAW. Things had gotten worse with her husband and his abusive behaviors and his drinking. She had made arrangements for me to come and get her on my son's Spring vacation. He got drunk and they had a physical altercation. Her girlfriend called the cops and he got arrested. Meanwhile the white Knights ( me and my son )took an 800 mile journey to rescue her. In hindsight the worst idea I ever had....
Move forward: She lived with us for 3 months in a spare bedroom. Came and went as she pleased. She helped out around here as payment for her room and board. Miserable the whole time she was here. Went to counseling and several churches. Still miserable. EVERYONE tried to convince her to get out and stay away from her husband. She booked a plane to go and supposedly file for divorce. Ended up having a honeymoon with husband instead. Came back home and packed up her stuff and went back to him.
She says he is a changed man. Gave up drinking. Goes to AA, church, volunteer work, etc. Is mad at everyone because we can't believe he can change. Let me see: beat up 3 women, is 53 years old and been an alcoholic most of his adult life. Why would we believe ??? do you see what's coming ??? I do... It's only a matter of time.
I didn't push her while she was here. I was available and tried to include her in our lives. Even that made her uncomfortable most of the time as she often commented she didn't want to go back to the way things were. She couldn't handle the stress of everyday living and interaction with the kids and their lives and problems. Came close to meltdown many times.
So smart thing for me to do is finally cut the strings and let her go right ? When she left I told her not to call us to rescue her again. That if she needed a place to live she was always welcome here as long as I was still single. I even sent her a link to my profile on yahoo to see what she thought... Don't know if that was for my benefit or hers.
I know she has gone back in the tunnel, and I have let her drag me along with her at least part way as witnessed by what I wrote last night.
It’s not that I remember I can’t forget…………. The moments good, the moments bad I can’t forget………….
Memories of you, of us, of our family I can’t forget…………. Your captivating smile and loving glances I can’t forget……………
My memories of you is my prison I can’t forget…………… All the things we could have had and should have had I can’t forget……………
The heartache and the tears won’t stop I can’t forget…………… It’s not that I remember I can’t forget……………
So I have succumbed to the dark side again. Each time it gets a little easier but it still hurts. I have realized for a long time it's not me that has brought about the majority of this drama but her own deep inner problems. I can't fix her, won't even try. She can't seem to fix herself. It's hard to walk away when it's someone you love.
TPPPL, DaveA
You vote with your feet. Divorce final 12/24/2004 I Give Up !
