I have already typed this post the other day. Spent nearly an hour then, bam, gone! All that typing, I was just about ready to send it and then it was gone to the bit bucket. Oh well such is life.
So were was I, it's been a month and a half since my last post here. Sit. with w not noticeably changed.
Went to the fundraiser, made my donation, caught up with people I knew, talked to my children for a while, had a feed and left. Didn't want to hang around with om there. Didn't talk to w on the night. Was a good 100 people there. W & her Watoto friends raised over $1200 on the night.
Have the feeling I'm being left out in regards to the children, I'm hearing stuff second hand that I believe, as one of the parents, I should have been informed by w earlier on.
Must change this.
I managed to get hold of 6 tickets to see the Dali Lama here in Brisbane. Had planned on 4 tickets for the kids one for me and one for w if she wanted. She wanted. I was looking forward to it then d16 dropped out and w said her friend, not om, would like to go as well if didn't mind.
This fiend of the w's apparently is a counselor and has/is counseling my w and has been all through this sit. W has told me this friend/counselor of hers has/had an alcoholic husband who used to beat her. I know it must have been terrible for my w's friend, but I can't help thinking that w's 'friend' may have brought some of her own baggage to the counseling table when dealing with my w. Also do counselors generally become good friends with counselees?
So I was initially looking forward to going with just my family and now, to me, the whole thing had gone a bit sour.
I really let it get to me in the last few days leading up to the day. In the end, the day it was on whilst at work I just resigned myself to the fact this 'friend' was going and I wasn't going to let that fact make any difference.
We all headed off early as there was reports it was a sellout and trafic, parking etc would bad. There was plenty of people there, I remember w & her friend were rushing to the lake at the complex and turned to hurry me up. There I was the picture of serenity, no rush to go anywhere. Ended up a good time and I was stressing over nothing.
Actually was probably best w's friend was there as I had no need to make any (possibly strained) smalltalk with w. I just gave the kids all my attention as much as I could.
One part of the Dali Lama's talk I remember was when he was asked how is it that he does not hate the Chinese for what they have done to his country. He replied something like...
'You don't hate the person, you might hate the action but not the person'
W & her friend enjoyed the day, s14 got a bit bored, d12 & d10 loved it. I had a good day, it was good to see him and luckily our seats were only about 15 rows from the front.
w has told me once a while back that she probably has demonised me a bit to her friends prior to all this happening so possibly her friend may see me in a differing light now, but who cares really, certainly not me.
w showed interest in the meditation I go to, but thats neither here nor there.
d16 has her first boyfriend, tells me she's in love. Ah ain't love grand, especially high school sweethearts. W has been letting d's bf sleep over and d sleep over at his place. I don't know what the sleeping arrangements are but I don't know if I'd be having it if I were at home.
Anyway because w has been having this om round and me being 2 company and 3's a crowd aware type of guy, I haven't really had much of a chance to meet him.
D16 wanted to address this so I got invited to my house for dinner to meet him. It was a nice bit of roast pork, w actually made, sorry tried to make, gravy. It's been a while since I've sat down to a meal with all my family I'll tell you. The d's bf didn't say much but thats alright. I do know they had been friends for a long time before the bf/gf thing. D16 has up to now been very levelheaded so it will be interesting to see how she fares.
The last few times I've seen w she has seemed to be a tiny bit more open and willing to talk so thats something.
Oh well till next time.
Paul
P.S. I think the gravy was significant because I can count the number of times in 20 years she has made it on one hand. But then again om may be a gravy man too.
