I could not sleep well, partially stress, partially too much fun last night. I stayed in bed later than normal (8:00) and did not feel great when I got up. I was having coffee and W was in her room. She called the kids in and they brought out my presents for Father's Day. One of them was a pottery turtle for the garden. At this point, I was thinking, "what the he!! is she thinking giving me something for the yard right before we tell the kids that they are moving away." She had also picked out a really cute card for them to give me. It was all almost too much for me.
A few minutes later, the kids are out of the room and I am chilling at the b'fast table w/ my cuppa joe. Out of the blue she says: "I am not going to take the job in TX." I was completely stunned, shocked, and speechless. She explained, tearily, that she could not stand to tear apart what the kids have here, take them away from their dad, and also have them live a much less comfortable life. I was still in shock and really did not know what to say. I mumbled something like "I can't believe you just said that and am not really prepared to talk about this just yet."
She took this to mean that I wanted her to go. I quickly explained that that is not the case and that there is no clear, easy answer that will make all of us happy. She went into the living room and I gave her a few minutes. When I joined her, she was still teary. I gave her a hug around the shoulders which she did not at all respond to (didn't expect her too) and said again that I did not have a good answer and that I understood how hard it was. We talked a bit but mostly just contemplated quietly.
After all this, we went to IHOP as a family for Father's Day. We came home and I spent time with the kids, swimming, walk in the woods, etc. W took a nap and went outside to talk on the phone to her dad, sister in Austin and some friends (and maybe others), while the kids and I were inside. Later she locked herself in her room and sent email/IM. She was mostly standoffish, but then ordered in burgers for Father's day dinner and went with the kids to pick it up. Dinner was pleasant, with typical convo, no stress. She cleaned up the kitchen and then picked up the house. I thanked her and said that was a nice F. Day present. She said it was nothing.
After dinner, we watched the end of the golf tourney (W even paid attention and commented on how buff Tiger has gotten.) Then I went with S8 on a walk while W stayed home with S6. No real interaction between us. We then got the kids in bed and W was sitting on the couch watching TV. I got my stuff ready for a.m. workout and then sat down in a chair by her. She looked really tired and not at all happy. I petted the cat and said I was going to my room early since I was tired. No real response. I was thinking she might want to discuss something further, but alas no.
I went into my room and shortly thereafter, she went to her room and has spent 1/2 hour sending email/IM. I am totally unsure what she will do tomorrow concerning the job in TX and my feeling is that I am probably better not saying anything, but am worried that this will be a missed opportunity.
Again, any advice is appreciated!
SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
