Why do these things happen IV

[NMHurting]

Hold stong bud. You know what is down that dark road.

[789]

Hold stong bud. You know what is down that dark road.

Tell me what it is, because I am getting lost on this journey.

[NMHurting]

You know that road leads to nothing but good. This is a pinnacle moment. You're sober. You like being sober. Your children like you being sober.

[789]

Oh that road, no I am not going to drink.
Just wish she had some common courtesy, one of her promises, prior to seperation, was that she would not drink either to show support, she is not a drinker by definition, just here and there.

[NMHurting]

Don't fixate on it. Let it go. She may not be thinking about it or she may be trying to press a reaction. Just let it go man. Just smile and enjoy the good things...you're there.

[NMHurting]

Those who have failed to work toward the truth have missed the purpose of living. - Buddha

[AmyC]

All right so far you have ASSUMED she did what SHE wanted to do.
Might not be the case.

Either way, it was EXTREMELY rude and if you can manage to let her know you don't appreciate being asked to come up there for Father's Day and then getting left behind, without letting all the other stuff come up, then I say do so. She was disrespectful at the very least and cruelly deceptive at worst. Tell her (IF you can stick to that subject and do so respectfully).

As for the drinking...that's plain and simple: She is testing you.

And she's a dumbass for doing it this way if you ask me.

Just how ignorant IS SHE about recovery?

Because if it wasn't done out of sheer ignorance, she needs to have her ass kicked.


I'm sorry, but that just crawled right up on my last damn nerve when I read that she was drinking in front of you.

[NMHurting]

I love Amy's bluntness. I really value it here.

I was giving you advice on how to be a doormat I guess.

All I could come up with man. I wasn't worried about the sitch, I was worried about YOU and keeping YOU on the right track.

[789]

All I could come up with man. I wasn't worried about the sitch, I was worried about YOU and keeping YOU on the right track.

That I will not do, I have stopped for myself and my kids. It was just one of those fleeting thoughts, not one to act on.

Thanks for the thoughts.

[789]

Amy,
As for the drinking on her part, I found out, actually should of remembered, her grandmother use to drink gin and tonics by the pool, her mom, sister and her were doing it as a toast to her. Didn't make me much happier, but did take the edge off to a degree.

As for her attitude and such, still not sure on that, her dad actually came and talked to me later in the afternoon. He just wanted to know how I was and I basically told him this is BS, fortunately we get along, and he didn't take it too personnely.

He said W did want me here, but at same time was having torn emotions on what to do, and her way was to escape today. He let me know the rest of the family was not to happy about it but at the time this was all going on they were not sure what to do about it.

He also let me know that in the little they had talked, he believes she is royally confused about the situation as in, she loves me, but is scared that she will never know if my drinking will ever start up again or am I truly done with alcohol. Her fear is that if she invests time, energy, and mainly her heart, that I will fall off the "sobriety train" and she will be hurt and is afraid of possibly going thru this all over again.

It did make me feel better that is the main concern she has, and that no other person is out there for her.

Talk about 180's, I can do and will continue to do, but this one takes years not days, weeks, or months.
The only bad part about her fear is, the only way to show her is over time, as in 1, 5, 10, 15, 20 years. My hope she is around to see those milestones come and go herself, and doesn't hear about it thru our son over these years, and then go "DAMN" should of stayed with him.

Sorry rambling again!