Rob #8 - Never Losin' Sight

[Rob1231]

Hi SD, Thanks for stopping by. I agree, the stars aligning like that was pretty bizarre. I guess I see two lessons I should learn. First, that I can relax and believe we're back on track with the M, right down to doing some good stuff that I hoped we would be doing a year ago before the bomb. Second, that I can encounter the OM (even if just for two seconds) and come away strong and happy as ever.

W and I move forward in little baby steps, then back off, then forward. Getting there in inches rather than in leaps and bounds. W is now much more up-front about telling me when I backslide, and also more up-front about acknowledging my progress. I try to do the same, but without pushing or pressure. As long as I see gradual progress, I am content to rely once again on my old friends Time and Patience. They got me this far!

And, nope, we're not in MC. I do think we'll get there someday, but I need W to be ready for this, and I know she isn't yet. What's the rule - one month of DBing for every year of M? In that case, I'm just over halfway there.

Do I think I will ever talk to W about OM? Not directly, unless we do go into counseling, or unless W grows a bit first. She tends to hold onto old hurts way too much, and I don't think we could have that talk without losing more ground than we gained from it. The closest I foresee would be very indirect discussions like "Tell me more about what you were missing from our M, so we can keep making it better."

Side note: W's also still a little puzzled and curious about my DBing friends. Just this weekend, she's seen me get calls from both Scott and Rainbow. Gets a really "not sure what to think about this" look on her face. I've told her they are people I've met here, usually referring to them as "friends from Memphis" and not saying much more - let there be a little mystery about this, I think.